Because 'Merica.

In honor of the release of The Avengers: Age of Ultron on Friday (and because my sister's a BAMF and gave me a great idea), I made Captain America shield cookies this week!

Well, attempted to, anyway. =P

Now, these cookies were way out of my comfort zone. My cookie experience thus far has been limited to mixing up a batch of dough and either plopping out tablespoons of it onto cookie sheets or rolling it out to cut out some shapes. These bad boys required a whole lot more time and preparation on my part. 

I loved it. 

(And kinda loathed it).

And it took me over 4 hours to make them. That's dedication. Steve Rogers would be proud. I think. Maybe I could sway him with cookies. 

Since I didn't even really know where to begin with these cookies, I scoured the internet* for a recipe to modify. Because that's how I roll. 

(haha I've already started the puns for this post already. Jebus, save us).

*In reality, I went to Google. And found something on page 1 of my search. Going any further is crazy. Just ask Loki.

(*I have no idea who to credit for this*)

I ended up using this nifty rainbow cookie recipe (CLICK ME). I'm going to lovingly rip it and type it out here for your convenience.

(Be nice and check out the other website, though).

Recipe:
3/4 cup unsalted butter, room temperature
1 1/4 cup confectioners sugar
1 tsp vanilla extract
Pinch of salt
3 egg yolks, room temperature
2 1/2 cups cake flour
Food coloring
Egg wash - 1 egg white & 1 tsp water

The only modifications I made were the colors and design. Which is completely obvious. I dunno why I even mentioned it.

You're welcome.

Anyway, after I figured out my game plan, it was time to get to work. I put on my Captain America shirt for good measure. 

This is my game face. It's part serious eyes, part duck face. Pretty, isn't it?

I gathered all of my supplies and got to work.

Fun fact: I had to buy food grade gloves to wear during the process. I didn't feel like dying my new finger tattoo a different color. At least not this time around.

First thing's first: You have to cream the butter! Make it nice and smooth. 

Wow. Such cream. Much butter.

Add your confectioners sugar. Then mix it up! 

Straight up pouring action.

Add the egg yolks, salt, and vanilla. Keep on mixing on.

It's a work of art.

Our measuring utensils are so colorful.

Resist the urge to eat this. Or don't.

And now it's time to fold in your flour! The recipe calls for cake flour, but I used the flour I already had in the house. Just plain old all purpose flour. I have a giant 5 pound bag, so I felt obligated to use it.

It's so majestic.

I'm not left-handed. This picture is a lie.

After you get the flour pretty much incorporated, you'll want to knead the dough for a bit. I went ahead and finished kneading it in the bowl. Because I'm a rebel and do what I want.

And I didn't feel like making a mess on the counter yet. 

Priorities, people!

Now this next bit, I just made up as I went along. Once you knead the dough, you have to divide it and add your food coloring. My measurements were nowhere near exact. 

Ha. I tried.

Divide your dough into 2 equal pieces to start off with. I went ahead and wrapped one half in plastic wrap and put it in the fridge. 

Yup, that's dough all right.

Divide the remaining piece into thirds. 1/3 will be dyed blue. And 2/3 will be dyed red. 

I really wanted to add a mouth to this picture. I refrained.

You'll have to experiment to get your dough pieces the right colors. Add a little bit of the dye at a time. I started off with a chick pea size dollop. You can always add more if you need it. 

See, I had to wear gloves. #tattooproblems

Red. The blood of angry men. Wait, wrong fandom.

I'm so blue, guys.

Once you get your desired dough colors, wrap them up in plastic wrap and put them in the fridge. They'll need to chill for about an hour.

For those who are about to chill, we salute you.

Take that hour to prepare yourself for the work ahead.

Eat some food.
Get some caffeine in your system.
Contemplate why you insist on torturing yourself with detail intensive work. 

Ya know. Whatever floats your boat and gets you pumped.

Sprinkle a thin layer of flour onto a clean work surface. Grab your white and blue dough out of the fridge and get ready to get down to business.

Tear off a section of white dough. You'll be using this to make the stars in the center of your shields. Using a rolling pin (or any weapon of your choice), roll out the dough until it's about 1/4 of an inch thick. Use a teeny tiny star cookie cutter and start cutting stars out like there's no tomorrow. 

(I found my tiny star cookie cutter at Hobby Lobby).

My work surface was big enough to have two projects going on at once, so after I had cut out about 15 stars, I rolled out the blue dough to the same thickness and started cutting out small circles.

The key with the cookie cutters is that the star cookie cutter will easily fit into the circle cookie cutter. You don't want the star to be too small, but you also don't want it to touch the edge of the circle cookie cutter. Depending on the supplies you have, you'll have to experiment and find a combination that works best for you.

(I hope that made sense. It did in my head, but that doesn't mean anything)!

So time consuming. So worth it.

Once you cut out the same amount of circle pieces, take your star cookie cutter and cut out stars from within those circles. The blue stars that you cut out can be reused to make more circles later on. After you have all of your pieces cut out, put the white stars into the blue circles. By this time, the dough will probably be super pliable, so you can shape the blue dough around the stars as much as you need to. And then you're going to start stacking your completed circle pieces. Brush the top of each piece with the egg wash to keep everything from falling apart. It's edible glue! 

By now you'll have a tube of dough starting to form. You can shape it in your hands to keep all of the layers together.

Just pretend it's clay.
Edible, delicious clay. 

The dough gets rather soft after it's been sitting out for awhile, so I did this stacking part in stages. I'd stack about 10 or so circles at a time, shape the tube, wrap it in plastic wrap, and put it back in the fridge while I made the next tube. 

Because this process was so time consuming (and because it was already almost 10 pm), I ended up making a stack of about 30 circles. I had enough dough left over to make plenty more, so use your own judgment here! My willpower was fading.

(I neglected to get a picture of my finished product. My apologies).

SO! Once you're done making your entire tube of circles. put it back in the fridge to chill for a bit while you get your remaining dough ready to go. Take your red dough and divide it into two pieces. Roll both pieces out until the sheets are large enough to wrap around your circle tube. You'll want to do the same with a portion of your remaining white dough as well.

Your tube should be firmed up enough to work with by this point. Brush the egg wash on the tube and on your first sheet of red dough. Wrap the red dough around the tube. Don't worry about the edges being pretty. They're not used in the final product anyway. Perform the same wrapping process with the white dough and again with the remaining red dough.

I realize how ridiculous this looks. 

Wrap your giant tube of dough in plastic wrap and put it in the fridge. Again.

It gets moody when it's not in there.

When it's firmed up enough, take it out of the plastic wrap, place it on your slightly floured work surface, and grab a sharp knife. This is where you get to see your hard work on display. Take your tube of dough and carefully cut it into even slices. I made my cookies roughly 1/2 inch thick.

Yup, my picture displays an uneven slice. Figures.

Once you get rid of the sketchy end piece, you'll see your shield design in all its glory!      

Even though my proportions were off (I rolled my white sheet out too much), the design was still really cool! I was awful darn proud of myself.

Place your sliced cookies onto a prepared baking sheet. It's up to you if you want to stick the baking sheet into the fridge to firm up the cookies a little bit before you bake them. I was running on fumes at this point and said, "To heck with it," so I put them into the oven right away.

Oh yeah! Preheat your oven to 335 degrees at some point.

That'd be helpful to know, wouldn't it? 

I mean, if you prefer raw cookie dough over cookies, then maybe not. I dunno.

I'm not here to judge. 

The recipe says it should take 10 to 11 minutes to bake. My batch took about 14 minutes. You'll want the cookies to turn golden brown, so just keep an eye on them. 

Let the cookies rest on the baking sheet for a few minutes before transferring them to a wire rack to cool completely.

And there you have it! Ridiculously adorable, slightly disproportionate, bad ass Captain America shield cookies! 

How can you not like these?!

I really wanted to eat it, okay?

I made these just in time to sneak them into a showing of The Avengers this weekend. And I'm super excited!

To eat the cookies.

And to break the rules a little bit.

Ha.

If you're daring, give these cookies, or the original rainbow cookies, a go and show off your skills below!

Also, if you managed to make it through this entire post (it's longer than anticipated!), thank you so much for reading! Leave any comments or ideas for future posts below. Please and thank ya. 

And as always, bake on with your bad selves. ;-) 

- Jackie

Put on your Warfstache

My sister, Quinn, turned 18 on April 2nd and one of her favorite Youtubers of all time is Markiplier.

(Click here for his videos! They're worth it. Trust me.)

He's so unbelievably funny, entertaining, kind, humble, generous ... handsome*...

*Exhibit A:

(Okay, so we both love him. Can you blame us, though)?

Anyway! I thought what better way to celebrate getting old than making Markiplier Warfstache cookies! Makes sense, right?! Right. I thought so.

(haha Quinn's getting old! ... Wait, that means I'm old already. Crap).

I used the basic roll out shortbread cookie recipe my family uses all the time. It's incredibly simple and we've used it forever, so I'm not sure where we even found the original recipe. It's great because it doesn't contain eggs! It's also terrible because it doesn't contain eggs! I probably eat more cookie dough than actual baked cookies with this recipe. I need to work on that whole self control thing. Eventually... Maybe...

Simple Shortbread Cookies

Ingredients:
 - 1 1/2 cups salted butter, softened
 - 1 cup confectioners sugar
 - 1 tbsp vanilla extract
 - 3 cups flour

Directions:
Preheat your oven to 325 degrees. In a large bowl, beat the butter until it's creamy. Add the sugar and beat until the mixture is smooth. Add the vanilla and mix. Add the flour and mix until just incorporated. You don't want to over mix the dough! Divide the dough into two pieces and shape into a slightly flattened disk. Wrap the portions in plastic wrap and refrigerate for 1 hour. When you're ready to break out the cookie cutters, prep your work area with a small amount of flour. Roll out the first portion of dough to your desired thickness. I usually keep mine around 1/2 inch or so. Lightly flour your cookie cutter of choice and cut away! Line a baking sheet with parchment paper or non-stick aluminum foil. Place your cookies on the sheet and, depending on the size of your cookies, bake them for about 14 to 16 minutes, or until the edges start to brown. Just keep an eye on them to get your baking time just right. After you take them out of the oven, let them cool on the baking sheet for a few minutes before transferring them to a wire rack to cool completely. Then decorate like there's no tomorrow!

Or eat them plain.

(Or be like me and do a little bit of both).

See? It's a pretty simple recipe.

(Note: I didn't keep track of how many cookies the recipe yields. It's quite a few, though. If memory serves me right, I managed to get at least 2 dozen with one portion of dough).

To be honest, this blog wasn't even on my radar when I made these, so I sadly don't have any baking process pictures. (I'll be sure to get those for any future posts, though)! The mustache cookie cutters I used had been sitting unused in a box since I bought them at some point during 2014. I know, I know. Mustache cookie cutters should always be used and loved, but I just never got around to it. I'm a bad cookie cutter owner. Please forgive me!

I also cheated and used store bought frosting to decorate these delicious mustahcios. Frosting and I have never gotten along too well ... So, rather than risk total and complete devastation (!!!), I opted for a tube of already prepared pink frosting.

And it probably took entirely way too long to frost these cookies, but my arthritic hands had a different point of view! By the time I finished frosting all of the cookies, my right hand was stuck in a beautiful clawed position for about 5 minutes. I felt like a dinosaur. I may or may not have walked around my kitchen like a velociraptor. I'll let you be the judge.

(I did. It was fun).

To be quite honest, I'm not entirely happy with my frosting job. (I told you frosting and I don't get along very well)! But, it served it's purpose and the cookies turned out super adorable anyway!

And the most important thing was that Quinn loved them! They added just the right touch to her Youtube birthday theme. =)

I'd eventually love to give these another go so that I can conquer the art of frosting cookies. Or maybe make some dinosaur shaped cookies for the release of Jurassic World! (Which I'm super excited for)!!!

Thanks so much for reading! Let me know what you think or if you make any cookies yourselves in the comments below.

And as always, bake on with your bad selves!

- Jackie

An Introduction of Sorts!

Well, my oh my, how I loooove baking!

(I hope you read that in a Southern Belle accent because that's how I typed it out).

I've loved baking, both the process and the end results, for as long as I can remember. Smelling different types of cookies or breads or cakes or pies or ....

.... *drools* ....

.... Ahem ....

Smelling anything baked always triggers come memory in my jumbled up brain, and it's typically one of the many happy memories I have with my family or friends. The endless possibilities of flour-filled, buttery delights remind me of the bonds and connections that have been created between my loved ones and me. I'm reminded of how certain people in my life have been brought together, some of which may have never have met before, all because of a shared plate of cinnamon rolls! And it fills me with such a warm, fuzzy feeling.

(It's like I'm a human cinnamon roll, really).

I have so many fond memories of enjoying a slice of cake with my friends at their birthday parties. And of making cookies with my family around the holidays. My memories surrounding baking are truly endless and I wouldn't have it any other way!

(And if I did, well, I wouldn't know anyway because that's all I would be accustomed to in my alternate universe life ... And now I'm way off track. Moving on)!

Baking gives me a chance to unleash my creativity in an area that I'm comfortable in pursuing. Hmm, that's not quite the wording I was going for.

Let's try that again: Baking allows me to be creative in an inviting atmosphere.

That's a little better. I'll stick with that for now. Anyway, I've never been a painter or a drawer or much of a musician or writer (this blog can attest to that last one! =P), so baking, for me, is one of the main areas where I feel good about the work I produce. I'm able to think of something I want to make, throw some ingredients in a bowl, mix it up, bake it, and enjoy! Sure, it doesn't always work out, but if I make some changes for the next go around, I get closer to finding the perfect combination. Or I end up striking gold and finding it on the second try!

These discoveries always elicit my happy dance around the kitchen. I'll spare your eyes this time around. I make no guarantees for future posts! [Insert evil laugh here].  

I'm pretty sure I'd ooze flour, sugar, and butter if you cut me open to find out what makes up my being. Baking is so much a part of my life, I can't imagine my life without it. I know that I never went to culinary school, so I have no formal training, but I've been enjoying the learning process here at home. I don't know much, and I'm by no means an expert (nope, not even close!), but that doesn't make me any less of a baker. And I hope that my passion for baking, rather than my lack of experience, comes across in my finished products! My heart swells with such joy whenever someone takes a bite out of one of my cookies or a slice of my banana bread and they tell me it's the best [insert baked good here] they've ever had. (I don't toot my own horn very often, but I think it's about time that I did)! Besides, I love sharing things with others in general! I've always been so much happier giving rather than receiving.

Baking also allows me to make all of my daily stresses fall to the wayside. I often zone out in the middle of the baking process and it's such a freeing feeling. (Don't worry. It's never during any dangerous bits, like using the oven. I promise). I also blast my favorite music while I'm baking, so it gives me a chance to jam out and dance around like the crazy fool I know I am deep down in my soul.
And I also burn off calories I'm bound to consume later, right?

Right?! ...

Right. I'll just be swimming in da Nile over there ... Oh, I'm so punny. Someone help me.

And, really, baking is just plain fun! And I'm hoping that with this blog (and my eventual business!) I can push myself to add more baking fun into my life. From now on, no more Netflix binges for me after work! I'm going to attempt to be a little more productive with my time. =)

So, please, leave some comments below with any suggestions for future blog posts or baking endeavors! I'd really appreciate it.

And if you've made it all the way through my ramblings, thank you so much for reading!!

Bake on with your bad selves!

- Jackie